She can still get around with a walker but she won't. They are helpless because they have no options and often they are difficult out for pain or frustration. Let's support each other, but there are exceptions. Dear Disgusted, What if the parent did not take care of their children! You don’t know the facts of what people went through.. Many on this board went through hell growing up and now the same parent that wasn’t there for them is now expecting to be served and is ungrateful of the help. I have the most empathy for the elderly people who have lost their dignity and are clearly getting the message they are unwanted. They were never there for their kids when they were growing up and the only place they deserve to be is in a nursing home.
You can read about people trying to help and still going on helping., Even though they resent it. This women is of sound mind she isn’t gonna have anybody tell her what to do even had social workers come in. Nobody should be forced to take care of an ungrateful, mean old person.
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by Ruth (Virginia) My mom (90) has lived with me (50) and my family for 6 months each year for 15 years then a 1 1/2 years ago she moved in for good. She was living alone and and had become so sick I didn't think she would live. you are being manipulated and taken advantage of by not only your mother but by all your siblings. She fell while I was gone (less than 24 hours)ended up with a brain bleed. Thinks she is capable of living alone at her house. It was a very nice facility just for Alzheimer patients through the VA. Life is short and you could be stuck taking care of someone for 20 years.
I don't even know this angry, frustrated, and burned out woman I see in the mirror. Reading the last few comments on here made me realize that the guilt you feel as a caregiver isn’t worth it the time and energy you put into a person who is ungrateful hardheaded and don’t like direction can sit in wheelchair and just sit the damage she is doing is already being done I have gone to support groups she is on a waiting list for respite care and I’m taking care of myself which is much needed she only has a son and him and I have done all we could do we are also looking for a nursing home it’s time for us to put a end to stop dealing and worrying she has chosen to do this to herself like the saying goes you can lead a horse to water but u can’t make it drink and that’s the same scenario we are in also I have children and I would never put them in this situation so we made sure they are protected in the event something happens to me or there dad. We are not required to die from taking care of ungrateful and hateful parents. I have been through 5 rehabs from falls at home, her not listening to directions,every time I take a break or vacation ,she ruins it by falling,hurting herself where she needs to go to the hospital. I have taken care of her for the last 8 years and I am done. She didn't listen to them and bossed them around,refused to shower etc. No matter what you do it won’t be right as she stopped trying and she made the decision. Take a vacation, there are respite care facilities. My mother in law was in one for 8 years because she had Alzheimer’s.