As a result of this conditioning, we confused love with pity, tending to love those we could rescue. As ACA becomes a safe place for you, you will find the freedom to express all the hurts and fears you have kept inside and to free yourself from the shame and blame that are carryovers from the past.Even more self defeating, we became addicted to excitement in all our affairs, preferring constant upset to workable relationships. You will become an adult who is imprisoned no longer by childhood reactions.To protect ourselves, we became people pleasers, even though we lost our own identities in the process.All the same, we would mistake any personal criticism as a threat.Today, text and chat abbreviations are used in many online communications including Facebook, Twitter, instant messaging, email and online gaming to name a few places.These abbreviations and emoticons are also frequently used when people send messages on mobile phones.Our actual parent is a Higher Power whom some of us choose to call God.Although we had alcoholic parents, our Higher Power gave us the 12 Steps of Recovery.
Adult Children Anonymous (formerly known as Adult Children of Alcoholics or ACOA) is a Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition program of women and men who grew up in alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional homes.  We meet with each other in a mutually respectful, safe environment and acknowledge our common experiences.  We discover how childhood affected us in the past and influences us in the present.  We take positive action.  By practicing the Twelve Steps, focusing on the solution, and accepting a loving Higher Power of our understanding, we find freedom from the past and a way to improve our lives today.  The only requirement for membership is a desire to recover from the effects of growing up in an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional family.Most people will only know a dozen or so general text abbreviations and a few more that are used by people with similar interests online.To keep our chat guide user-friendly for all ages, some inappropriate words have been edited to include an alternate meaning.We were dependent personalities -- terrified of abandonment -- willing to do almost anything to hold onto a relationship in order not to be abandoned emotionally.Yet we kept choosing insecure relationships because they matched our childhood relationship with alcoholic parents.